Cycle of Homelessness

I have recently begun volunteering at a homeless shelter. I am fascinated every time I'm there by what I see. I have always had an interest in sociology and being in the inner city, in a homeless shelter is like having a front and center view of the other side of society. These are the people that society has forgotten. There is a somewhat large scale of people and their different situations. One thing is true about all of them, they are lucky to have the opportunity  to be there.

It seems like what I see the most is families. Mostly single moms with 3-5 kids. That's right, 3-5 kids. I'm assuming they haven't been able to work due to lack of child care, so they obviously cant afford an apartment. They are incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to have a roof over their heads. Few things are more terrifying than the thought of children sleeping on the streets. It makes you wonder why they didn't stop having children before the number reached 5. Also, most of these women are pregnant again. Part of the job of the staff is to go around the dorm every now and then and make sure the children are in school. Sometimes they find children in the TV room watching cartoons instead of being in school. Last time I was there, the staff found one family who had all four of the school aged children hanging out in the dorm. How can this happen? Does she not think school is necessary for her children? Is she too lazy to get up and take them?  Has she just given up on life and fallen into depression? This happens often enough, and it does nothing in the way of progress for her situation or her children's. But does she know that? Where are the fathers? Some are in jail, some on the streets, but very few are helping out in any way.

Some of the people there are visibly scarred from a life of homelessness and trauma. Some people have taken drugs for decades, and their faces show the signs. These signs can't be hidden with make up. Large sores and blemishes don't just go away with concealer. Some are very thin and have terrible posture from years of drug use. Even if they manage to articulate well, their appearance is very off-putting to employers who need this person to present themselves as best as possible to their customer base. Most people have dental issues. Missing and decaying teeth is common among most of the residents there. One young woman has a very big smile which reveals three teeth. She may be older than I'm thinking, but she looks 20 years old, and doesn't speak much English. She also has 3 kids.

Obviously, some people have fallen on hard times. There is a woman who looks like the typical soccer mom. Her clothes are high end (she has a jack from The North Face, which isn't cheap). She has highlights in her hair, and tends to make lots of requests at lunch as if she expects the be waited on. My guess is that her husband either passed away or disappeared and she has not been able to get a job and get on her feet. She stands out quite a bit. She is very articulate, one of few people there. The education level seems to have stopped for them somewhere in elementary school. The speech pattern of the majority of the people there is similar to that of the children I used to work with. Sentences are broken and barely decipherable sometimes. There is much mental illness.

Some people take their situation more seriously than others. Since I have started volunteering, there have been several people who got kicked out. There are many reasons for someone to be kicked out since there are rules that need to be followed. But so far, these are the reasons I have seen: failing a drug test, not showing up for a drug test, not returning for curfew (which is 10:00pm), not returning overnight, starting a fight with another resident, refusing to do chores, refusing to show up to meetings with case workers, and a few others. Most residents aren't thrown out after one offense, it usually takes five offenses before they are terminated from the program. I know how overwhelming and difficult life can be, even when you don't have much responsibility. But there set these things in place to help people, and they make it easy for the rules to be followed. So why would someone choose not to follow these rules? Do they not care if they get kicked out? Are they too lazy? Have they never understood how an adult is responsible for their own actions? If no one has ever taught them, how would they understand?

None of these people have family that can help them. They are all in here, because their families are either unable or unwilling to help. They are alone in this. Who will help them? The staff helps as much as they can, but they can't do everything for these people. There are too many residents and too few staff members. The situation is painful any way you look at it. The children grow up like this, and they think it's normal. So they grow up and instead of finishing school, they have 3 kids. They work minimum wage jobs since that's all they can get. Then they have 2 more kids and end up losing everything. Then they are back in the shelter. Their children repeat this.

So how do we feel about this? If we don't have enough money or time to donate, does society take on the belief that it should be every man for himself? Ask yourself, how do you feel about it?

Ourselves, Reincarnated

    I have always found the concept of reincarnation fascinating, however it ignites a sense of anxiety in me when I really start to think about it. First off, does it actually happen? If you believe in the human soul, then it is perfectly plausible to think once it leaves your body after death, it may travel the world and ultimately end up somewhere other than heaven. But does it actually enter the body of another human being? Some people believe the soul goes to heaven, hell, or purgatory after death. Some people believe is simply ceases to exist once your life has ended. And some people believe there are souls trapped on earth. There may be countless spirits around us at all times unaware that they have even passed on, wondering who we are and why we are in their house. How did they get stuck here?

   Then, of course, there is reincarnation. How is it determined? Is it randomly selected who you'll inhabit after you die? Who makes the decision where you end up? And how many times does your soul change bodies before it ends up somewhere like heaven or hell? Could you be a religious, law abiding citizen in one life, and then become a crazy sadistic serial killer in the next life? And if so, is your soul condemned to hell based on the actions of this killer, even though previous lives have all been immaculate? I don't think we can ever really know the answer to these things, however, it makes me wonder what I may have been in a past life. There are a few different sets of scenery that I have always been drawn to since I was young. There may be other reasons I find these places interesting, but I have to wonder if any of it is residual past life energy.

    For starters, I've always liked any setting in England, prior to the 19th century. I cant exactly explain why either. I have never been to England but I love the scenery. The castles, the clothes, the furniture, the horse-drawn carriages and of course the music! When I think about this time period, I feel somewhat safe and comfortable. Could this have been a past life? If it was, I must have either been royalty, or a servant in a royal castle. The feeling of safety leads me to believe I wasn't ever in danger. Another scene I've always felt connected to was the deep south like Mississippi, Georgia, Louisiana or anywhere else in that area. The sight of Spanish moss and old plantation mansions literally causes my heart rate to go up. I've never been to the south before, yet I feel somehow connected to it. This one, however, is a much less comfortable feeling. I do not feel safe or happy here at all. In fact, I feel very scared and anxious when I picture this scenery. If this is a past life, it wasn't a pleasant one.

   I suppose a clairvoyant or a psychic may be able to shed some light on a subject such as this. I would pay good money to know whether or not I've had any past lives, and exactly what they were. Am I somehow connected to these scenes that stir up strong emotions, or is there some other reason my blood pressure goes up when I Spanish Moss? I've heard that for certain people who have a tremendous fear of dying a specific way such as drowning or being buried alive, it's due to the death of a past life being killed in that specific manner. What an amazing concept! If any of this is true, the human soul is more powerful than we will ever fully understand. Where will our souls go from here?