2014 up and running

    2014 is a quarter way through. I am jobless and have nothing on the horizon. I cant figure out if this is a failure or an accomplishment. My last job was horrible, so in that respect it's an accomplishment. But where do I go from here? I don't want another job, which is absolutely ridiculous. I'm not rich, so I will need to work unless I want to be on the street. I'm fine with working, I just don't want another horrible job. That seems like too much to ask. Actually having a good job, that is fulfilling and enjoyable? I must be dreaming. That kind of job only exists for someone more fortunate than me. I will never be that lucky. I am already lucky to have a loving husband and a brilliant child. So having a job that I enjoy is asking for too much.

   I just want to contribute to society. More specifically, the less fortunate members of society. I have no money to give, but I have time and compassion. I have some brain power, not a ton, but a little. I have understanding and desire to make people's lives easier. I feel like I'm wasting my time and my life by not using these things to the best of my ability. But where do you begin? I am blissfully unemployed for the time being. Money is tight, of course, but I have never felt better about not having a job. So now is the time. There are lots of volunteer opportunities but I would like to do something useful. I'm sure there is a church group somewhere who would like help painting their church's exterior. Or an elementary school who needs help loading and unloading books for their book drive. But it doesn't seem too meaningful. More church members and parents should step up for that job. I want something that is in desperate need, and involves real people that need real help.

   I know what its like to be a single teenage mother. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. And I did it alone. Somewhere out there is a girl in the same situation. Somewhere there is a person who's ready to throw themselves off a cliff because no one is there for them. Somewhere someone is in a gutter with a needle in their arm. I don't think I am "better" than volunteering to paint a church. But those desperate people mean more to me. I don't know them, but I care about them. It seems selfish not to help them. But how do you find them? You don't walk down the street and ask random people of they need assistance. Do you?